A Candle Conundrum at FPB

As far as his shop goes, too bad Mr. Payard just can’t keep it simple….

Somewhere in the transition from the overly wrought Rococo splendor of  the Upper East Side’s now deceased Payard Patisserie and the trying-too-hard-to-be-hip industrial designed space on the border between Greenwich Village and Soho Mr. Payard’s branding went into overkill.

Yes, with Valentine’s day around the corner, heart shaped boxes of macarons make sense, even if they are a bit too thematic. And the chocolate squirt bottles – think high end dermatologist sunscreen packaging – are odd, but it’s not too much of a squeeze from his core bakes business, sort of.  Candles? Well, that’s a different story.

A Choco Squirt?!

My Valentine Macaron

I am not sure where Mr. Payard found these cloyingly Glad-like bougies but there they were front and center 0n the products display wall, a setting that was more gift fair than patisserie.  “Gourmet Candles” with scents (or, should that be flavors?!) like “Cranberry Compote”, “Chestnut Souffle”, and “Lemon Biscotti” were all olfactory offenses that reeked of cheapness.

Mr. Payard walks the thin line between confection and affectation. Candles inspired by the teashop and perfumery are examples of when scents make sense.  Food flavored candles in the bakery are an example when they do not.

FPB (aka Francois Payard Bakery) 116 West Houston Street, between Thompson & Sullivan Streets, NYC. Tel. 212.995.0888

Check out this link by way of HuffPost Travel and Newsy- wow, talk about flour power and one icy and sugary cupcake threat.

Cupcake Security

Story goes that a cupcake in a metal lidded glass jar set off bells at the airport security check point though, the cake nor its creamy center were the presumed danger – the security officer deduced that it was in the frosting. From what we could gather, that sugary crown was presumed a gel sufficient in amount to violate the 3-1-1 safety rules.

Goes to show you that even one uninformed of the bakery arts could see the potential danger inherent in over-frosting – there’s always danger when dealing with Cupcake Crack!

Retro charms at PARM, NoLIta, NYC

Lots of top-notch ingredients to the chicken parm hero, and then some: the crispy cutlets, the sauce (if not better than Nonna’s, a close second), the fresh mozzarella and basil (not in my memory of the chicken parm charm of yore), and the seeded hero roll, but something about this sandwich just wasn’t right.

CHICKEN PARM HERO AT PARM, NOLITA, NYC

Not to say that it wasn’t good, it was.  Its just that it wasn’t good enough. You can expect a soggy roll, but not at first bite. The sauce was delicious and warm, with a snap from the fresh basil leaf but, it could not mask the gluey pull of the under heated cheese nor mask the cutlet’s cold edge.  As I ate my lunch, I looked around at the setting and crowds of expectant diners by the hostess and realized that PARM, simply put, was just a fast food play fueled by culinary hype. The original charm of Torrisi was morphed into a theme park-like attraction.

HOKEY SIGNS RUN THE GAMBIT AT PARM

About the design, too bad for the array of hokey signs and tableau in the bathroom – it sort of dumb downs the otherwise cutesy resto reproduction style. With so much that is faux, think Italian deli meets old school coffee shop on main street in Walt Disney World, this clearly feels like a chain in the works. With the spread of sub-par fast food restaurants all over the place this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s just that PARM is not as special as we had hoped.

Can’t make the sojourn to PARM in NoLIta? No worries as there’s likely to be one coming soon to a neighborhood near you. Up next, a PARM at ROCCO’S, the shuddered resto from the days when SOHO and Greenwich Village were as Italian as Italian American gets.

PARM, 248 Mulberry Street (at Prince Street),  NYC, tel. 212 993 7189

In the world of  bakery theme park-like attractions there is something very satisfying to the nostalgia-minded Sensurround you experience at shops like BILLY’S BAKERY and MAGNOLIA BAKERY. While they are both commercial minded bakeries (no baking school grads or mom-and-pop in residence) stop by either of these cupcakeries and, besides lines,  you’ll get a fresh baked and traditional-minded cupcake that is pretty to look at and tasty enough to eat. Not so at Crumbs.

The Colossal Cupcake from Crumbs: bigger is not better!

Cupcakes arrive at your local Crumbs shop by way of an off-site baking plant. With their displays of abnormally large cupcakes, plastic containers of mini-cupcakes and the freakishly distorted Colossal Cupcakes, Crumbs is nothing more than a gimmicky cupcake outlet.

Say Boo! to these scary Halloween treats!

And then there’s the branding that comes along with these Crumby cupcakes. References to “love”, “handmade” and the “simple things in everyday life” abound.  We’re guessing not too simple as there’s no information to be had on what’s in these cakey creations.  A call to the main office and chats with counterpersons at a couple of the Crumbs shops left us with nothing beyond the basics – sugar, butter, flour – to what actually goes into these bakes.  We also got the warning that ‘if you’re allergic to anything at all don’t eat these cupcakes’.  That’s not very comforting for comfort food and we are definitely not feeling the cupcake love.

So what is it that has so many people hooked? Well, we definitely know the sugar has something to do with it – that’s a given. Along with what must be a bevy of not-so-natural flavorings, sweeteners and who knows what, factor in Crumbs’ Candyland-like decorations (think of elementary schoolers in art class with their Halloween haul) and you’ve got a serious case of Cupcake Crack in the works.

CRUMBS, Multiple Locations Nationwide, www.crumbs.com

IF SHE KNOW ABOUT UMAMI SHE'D RUN FOR THE HILLS....

All hamburgers are not created equal.

From the meat spectrum of juicy reds to dry dull grays, patties proliferate fast food joints, greasy spoons, pedigreed dines and catering halls across San Francisco. Factor in some really amazing burgers and, by all means, now is not a good time to be a cow.

In the realm of the quick fix, I don’t have a beef with IN-N-OUT, it’s just that I’m not part of any particular budget burger cult. And, I’m also a fan of SUPER DUPER with its organic and green-grazing mindedness set to retro-cool style.  But, for the moment what I’ve set my sights upon and fixed my senses to is the UMAMI BURGER, the recent Los Angeles import located ever so appropriately in the neighborhood that is Cow Hollow.

THE BURGER WITH THE FIFTH SENSE, UMAMI

With UNAMI BURGER it’s supposedly all about the “fifth” food taste, aka “umami” – a sensory dimension that is described as a “pleasant savoury taste imparted by glutamate”.   We’re not exactly sure what that means but the culinary scientist in you can find out more about it at the UMAMI INFORMATION CENTER.  For now let’s just say that umami adds a little something special into the mix at UNAMI BURGER.

UMAMI BURGER, A LOOK UNDER THE BUN

Feeling robust? Try the signature burger or, better yet, go for the Manly but save the Greenbird for when you’re in a fowl mood. I am glad these burgers are filling because with sticker prices hovering at $11, two of these “bunned” wonders might not fly.

I’ll have some extra condiments please, especially the exceptional umami ketchup with those Thin Fries. Drinks? Live it up with a California wine or, on second thought, one of the crafted drafts will be fine.  Room for dessert? Definitely, especially with a treat from CAKE MONKEY BAKERY – a sweet way to awaken from a umami dream.

UMAMI BURGER 2184 Union St, San Francisco. Tel. 415-440-8626.